Grand Canyon Capers

We are nearing the end of a wonderful saga in our lives, “Dave and Sheri: Daring Adventurers or Victims of Desert Madness?” We decided that during the twilight of our careers in Arizona (whose state slogan is “home of two kinds of weather: ‘really hot’ and ‘why is Grandma’s skin bubbling?’”) we would finish off with a bang by visiting the Grand Canyon.

Now, this isn’t some weak-sauce stroll through the forest. This is a good 10 mile hike through the base of the grand canyon with nothing to survive on except your wits, your water, and if necessary, the flesh of those around you (I’m serious about this one. I caught John several times trying to spread barbecue sauce on my calves). At then end of 10 miles of very dry and dusty desert, you finally come to an absolutely beautiful area that is just like the Garden of Eden. Luckily, we all still had our clothes on…

We basically spent the rest of our time down there either in the water, or throwing rocks at the fatty squirrels that kept trying to steal our food. Here are some images of this amazing place:


This is John and me under one of the many waterfalls down there. It kind of reminded me of my daily showers in Russia – it was really cold, the water hurt my back, and there always seemed to be some creepy guy standing next to me.

To get to one of the waterfalls, you need to descend this gentle slope otherwise known as “The Cliffs of Insanity”. The main trick was to not slip and poke one of your eyes out. I had images in my head of being a future optometrist with a black eye patch and a hook, scaring little kids into taking care of their eyes (the hook would be for added effect. And to catch fish)

I look at breathtaking views like this and I think, “I wonder what’s on TV right now?”

I’m no wildlife expert, but if you look really closely, you can see a bear in his natural habitat grinning behind the waterfall. Every time Sheri and I threw some dead fish at him, he would do this amazing dance. Now that’s what I call science!

Jumping off this waterfall is like watching “Deal or No Deal” – so stupid, yet strangely irresistible. While I was here I kept wishing that my water-loving brother Steven was with us. He probably would have done this same jump blindfolded and with a pair of rusty scissors in each hand just to make it more difficult. By the Big Brother Law, I would have had to follow suit plus a little bit extra. I would have had to add piranhas to the water or something…dang Big Brother Law…

Unfortunately, our trip had to come to an end. We woke up at 3:30am that morning so that we could reach the rim of the canyon before it got too hot. We arrived at the top just before 9:00am. John apparently found a swimming pool on the way up.