The Best 5K...EVER!!!!!

Yesterday morning we met at a community center to run a 5K! Cool, eh? Well, let me tell you, it was hilarious. By the time 7:00am rolled around, there were a whopping 25 people there. It was a free race and so we were very interested in what we were in for. A lady gathered us all together and through the megaphone explained the route of the course. It went something like this, “turn at this dirt road here, then turn left at that dirt road there…” I knew it was going to be an awesome race. I then found out that they were missing one small detail…they weren’t going to time us!


The lady asked how many people were running the 5K, and about 10 of us raised our hands (and that included Sheri, Doreen (a classmate), and myself). I took a picture of the group and started walking back to the car to take the camera back. About midway there, the lady yelled, “Okay, GOOOO!” They had started the race! So I ran to the car, threw the camera in, then booked it to catch up with everyone else. Here are some highlights of what I call, “The Best 5K…EVER!”

- While I was in second place, the guy in front of me was…and I’m not kidding here…attacked by 4 wild dogs! They ran towards him with a vengeance, ready to make him their next human sacrifice. He started screaming and kicking at them, and eventually they ran off. A part of me deep inside had secretly hoped they would have bit his legs off so that they would be too occupied with their lunch to pay any attention to me. Either way, made me glad to be in second!

--Several optometry students were eaten to get you this picture

- Apparently this was a big event. They had a few cop cars along the way flashing their lights showing the way to go. It made me feel relieved that the cops were standing around watching us run instead of preventing the dozens of murders that were occurring throughout the city.

- During a stretch along a very dusty road (all of the roads look like this), a big truck drove by next to us, sending a huge cloud of dust over the group. We were covered in dust and couldn’t even see the runners in front of us through the dirty fog. Wow, a free 5K and Black Lung? Has Christmas come early in Arizona?

- An ambulance was there and was following the last two runners, who happened to be two girls no older than 8. So they were trotting along, looking around and enjoying themselves, while this ambulance was trailing close behind at a breakneck speed of 3 miles per hour. Tax dollars at work, baby!

- I was passed by an Indian who was very old. I mean, he was so old he probably knew Geronimo personally. I decided that he was either a 30 year-old man who had had too much sun exposure, or (and I tend to believe this one), that he was none other than The Great Spirit trying to break my manly ego. Either way, he passed me and I fell to a distant third.

- At the end of the race, we ended up getting a free pedometer, trail mix, and a grapefruit. They only had a few to give because they figured that the stragglers would be devoured by the wild dogs.

-Since I didn’t bring my stupid watch, Sheri figured that we finished between 20 and 25 minutes. I’m sure starting late and getting lost didn’t help our time.

-Did I mention that it was the best 5K ever?