Running my pants off

When I look back on 2011, I think I will summarize it as The Year of the Runs. I have grown particularly fond of running, and specifically, races. And specifically-er, marathons. I decided that for 2011 I wanted to run a marathon. And guess what? I ended up running 2 marathons!

I've been running for a long time. But most of that involved jogging aimlessly through a nearby golf course, trying to not get caught and kicked out (which happened on numerous occasions, I might add). Earlier this year, I decided to get serious. It was time to buy a GPS watch, nice running shoes, and numerous books on how to lie to your wife (I told her I was out making her more money...heh heh heh).

Aubrey and I had to battle to the death for this on my training days

So in April, I started my marathon training. Let me tell you folks, it wasn't easy. I often compare training for a marathon to life. You see, it's just like that scripture says, "I never said it would be easy. I only said it would be worth it you big wuss." I did a program where I ran 3 days a week, and cross-trained 2 days a week. (And by "cross-train", I mean subject myself to various medieval torture devices all in the name of strength training)

I learned a lot about myself and my abilities. For example, I learned that if you run long enough, your toenail can fall off...and never come back. I also learned that after mile 18 I get so delusional that even Arbys sounds good.

I ran two races: Top of Utah (in Logan) and the SoJo marathon (in South Jordan). Top of Utah was the better of the two. On the coolness scale of 1 to Fresh Prince, I would have given it at least an 8.5. And it came with no shortage of crazy adventures, none of which I am lying about:

1. It began by me dropping my iPod into a raging gutter, completely destroying it for the race. (Let me just say that after about 15 miles, humming "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" loses its pizzazz). I have told Sheri for years that I am the clumsiest person I know, and this only reinforced that claim.

I'm smiling because I just lost all feeling in my legs

2. During mile 0.3, I realized that my shorts felt awfully loose - actually, really loose. Like, Andrei Kirilenko loose. I realized to my horror that the draw string in my shorts had snapped, and that there was a real possibility of finishing the race without pants if I wasn't arrested first. So I ended up having to carry my packet of running gels (which are normally supported by my shorts) in my hand...for 26.2 miles.

3. Then the weather came to play. It ended up being an absolute downpour for no less than 10 miles. But I actually didn't mind it so much. It kept me quite cool. The only tough part was trying to dodge the injured puppies being swept away in the torrent of water.

No need to take a bathroom break when you're already soaking wet...

4. Finally, I made it to the finish. Right before receiving my fancy finishers medal, I turned to the screaming crowd, took a bow...and threw up several times. I don't think I'll be drinking Fruit Punch Gatorade again anytime soon.

So, will DaveyTrain race again? You'll have to wait and see. I will certainly keep running for fun. So don't be surprised if you see me someday on some trail holding a packet of gels in one hand while trying to keep my pants up with the other.