Friday, November 20, 2009

Clowns, Burglers, Babies, and Other Myths

1. Let's start with Halloween. The reason why Halloween is so cool is because it's during one of my top 5 favorite seasons: fall. (The others being summer, spring, winter, and Bob Ross). Fall is full of all the wonderful things in life, such as: football season, great weather, fun holidays, the beginning of basketball season, the end of baseball season, and the end of baseball season.

Sheri and I have always created homemade costumes. And by "homemade", I mean, "purchased at the last possible moment where we are desparatly trying to decide between an outrageous costume or something more conventional like a pink vampire butterfly". But somehow we make it happen. This year, we made our grand entrance to our ward party in our cool new costumes. Observe:


I steal your stuff; Sheri turns you into a newt.

However, I realized something that day: being teamed up with a pregnant robber is not as cool as people say it is. Basic procedures become more more complicated, like crawling through air conditioning vents and running from people you've set on fire. But at least we've got a good decoy: nobody suspects the pregnant chick. Heh heh heh...


2. Clowns terrify me. I've never liked them, and I never will. I have a theory that - and I'm not exaggerating here - at least 65% of all human deaths are clown-related. Oh, they look innocent all right. Innocent, of course, until they start muffling your foolish laughter by cramming their spongy red nose down your throat. Who's laughing now? Yes, that's right: the clown. Diabolically.


"Ha ha ha! That's right, it's very fun to make cotton candy out of human heads! Who's next?"

The clowns shown above were present at our 10 year high school reunion. The reunion was fun, but I didn't want to set foot near them. I think I'd rather spend the day in Disneyland Rwanda. Or watching "Dancing with the Stars".


3. I'm having a baby. This may very well be the last post before yours truly, DaveyTrain, becomes a father. Yes, I'm scared too. And then I can fill the blog with all the "standard" blog material - 1,624 pictures of my kid, stories about severe diarrhea, and lovely recipes of taco soup (mmm...runny soup...)

Sheri at 39 weeks.

But don't worry, having a baby will only make my blogs more fascinating and life-changing for you. I will continue to make my blogs practical, useful, and completely believable. Who knows, maybe someday you'll see my face on the cover of some famous magazine about some cool thing...like pink vampire butterflies.