Something is baking....

Sheri and I recently found out some AMAZING news. One of us is pregnant. We're still not sure who it is - we both got that little "plus sign" on the pregnancy test. But we're assuming it's Sheri because her stomach has been grumbling uncontrollably as of late. So we think that it's either a baby, or her tapeworm has finally met a rival and is now involved in an epic battle.

So we are very excited. (And yes, I'm actually serious this time, Sheri really is pregnant. With a baby.) The official due date: December 1st. That's what the "internet" told us, and we know it can't possibly be wrong.

With our new responsibility, Sheri and I are really concentrating on getting the most important things done: talk about baby names, post the news on our blog, buy a gun, and purchase 216 jars of baby food so I'm healthy by the time the he or she arrives. We must also put that obligatory creepy baby-counter in our blog, too. (Slowly move your eyes to the right...good heavens, it looks like a mutated Lima bean!)

We have something else exciting to announce. Thanks to modern technology, doctors can now predict exactly how your child will look. All you have to do is submit a photo along with 2 strands of DNA, and they do the rest. They send you back a picture of your future child. For example, this is what we recently sent:

And this is what they sent back to us:

But don't be nervous - the doctors assured us that this is the worst-case scenario.


Interestingly enough, the doctors sent us another photo. We're not sure how to take it:

At least we know he'll be fond of peanuts...

Residency Rumba

Think of the first thing that pops into your mind when you hear the word "residency"...

...A person's living conditions?...

...The tenet who lives next door to resident B?...

...The second season of the 80's smash cartoon hit DinoRiders?...

Well, you'd better start thinking about Dr. Dave because, like Santa, he's coming to town! But instead of bringing bags of toys for all mankind, Dave is bringing "bags" of "optometry-related knowledge" to selected citizens of Salt Lake. Which is obviously much more exciting.

From July 1, 2009 to June 30, 2010, Dave will be doing a residency at the Salt Lake VA Hospital and the Moran Eye Center which is situated nearby. It will involve a dual specialty in 1. Advanced Contact Lens Care, 2. Ocular Disease, and 3. How-Do-I-Get-That-Worm-Out-of-My-Eye know-how.

You may ask, "why are you doing this, Dave? Don't you want to go out to the real world and make actual money? Why do you keep torturing yourself with eternal schooling?" Here are just a few reasons:
1. I will get to work with one of the most knowledgeable contact lens specialists in the country (Dr. Harald Olafsson, and if you are not familiar with his name, go back to 2nd grade you silly goose)
2. I get to refine my skills in the treatment and management of diseases like glaucoma, macular degeneration, and MEFO syndrome ("My Eye Fell Out")
3. I will be a specialist in treating your botched LASIK.
4. Every other Friday is "Pajama and Boxing Glove" day...I can't wait!


So please come by the Moran Eye Center after July 1 to see your old pal, Dave. Or better yet, come by Sheri's future office and see her...heaven knows she will be carrying the financial burden...and my dead weight....for the upcoming year!

Auburn Rocks

The following is the continuation of this season's segment: "Top 7.5 Coolest Things We Did In Northern California During Our Christmas Vacation"

3. As long as I can remember, I have been obsessed with throwing rocks. I don't know why I just can't get enough of it. Maybe I'm part caveman, I don't know. And it doesn't matter how or where I throw rocks - skipping them in lakes, shooting them from a sling, throwing them off bridges, or causing pain to annoying kittens (okay, the last one is not quite true, unless you replace "annoying" with "unsuspecting" and "kittens" with "small children") Observe:

This is me, probably thinking about throwing rocks. Or about how awesome my pants are. Or about the sweet gap in my teeth.

(this is definately during one of my "akward" years, which ended up lasting nearly 2 decades)

While in Auburn, Sheri and I discovered an awesome hike. It led to an open area with steep cliffs that I knew if we could just climb to the top of, we could have some sweet rock-throwing:

The new setting for "Lord of the Rings IV: Gollum vs. Elmo"

We managed to make it to the top of the cliffs without killing ourselves (much to my surprise). The best thing about it was that not only were we on a cliff, but we were also above an old mine. So by the time the rock finally hit the bottom, you could have watched the first half of "Pride and Prejudice" (if you didn't thow up first, of course).

Be sure to pump up the volume so you can hear the "rock" music...(ba-doom-ching!)

Basketball Brew-ha-ha

The following is the continuation of this season's segment: "Top 7.5 Coolest Things We Did In Northern California During Our Christmas Vacation"

2. People are often surprised when they find out that Sheri is an amazing basketball player. You either hear it from someone, or you figure it out in the instant that she dunks a basketball into your previously unbroken face. Both ways are pretty effective. You see, Sheri appears to be a quiet, shy little lamb in public. But once she gets on the basketball court, images of a man-eating vampire puma quickly come to mind. Case in point:

Careful...she's going for the jugulars!

(Sheri's so good at basketball, she once challenged Chuck Norris to a game of "HORSE". She won by making 5 baskets in a row...on her first shot)

In all seriousness, Sheri is very, very good at basketball. She is one of the most accurate shooters I've ever seen, guys included. (Marriage Rule #1: Do not play HORSE against each other). And her basketball skills run in the family. Sheri has 9 sisters. That's right, I'm not exaggerating this time...9. And almost all of them play basketball too. So it's a tradition that every time we visit Northern California, we have to play basketball with the Squadron.

We had to nail the basketball to the backboard in order to take this picture.

Sheri's maiden name is BigGuns...you can see why

Northern Cali Vacay

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Some of you have commented that it is high-time for us to update our blog. Well, the wait is over and here it is: the "Top 7.5 Best Things We Did in Northern California During Our Christmas Vacation". We are going to break off the old tradition trail and do this in installments. So be sure to check at least hourly for more exciting updates!

1. Wild Stallion Scamperoo

Sheri and I did one of the funnest things we've done as a married couple - horseback riding! It was amazing. The reason why it was so cool is because except for once, every time I've gone riding it's been a "horseback riding adventure", which is a fancy way of saying, "single-file death march". I've been forced to sit on my emaciated steed while it shuffles along the same path that it's done 6 zillion times. At the end I usually end up either carrying the horse myself, or eating it to put it out of our misery. Why, why couldn't I run wild and free like the stallion inside of us that we both yearn to release?

But this time was different. Since we were going with friends that owned the horses, we could go wherever we wanted. We thought single-file was a pretty good idea.

After an amazing afternoon of beautiful scenery, fresh air, and venomous Tse Tse flies, we reluctantly headed back to the horse trailer. But before we did, we found an open field where we were able to gallop as fast as we wanted (the horses, not us). It was seriously one of the most fun things I've ever done. It makes me want to get horses one of these days - or at least a really big raccoon.

Amateur....

Halloween High Jinks!

This year, Sheri and I have continued our amazing tradition of lets-make-up-a-costume-in-the-next-30-minutes-that-reeks-of-SuperCoolAwesomeness. Take a look:

Yes, my children, I am Waldo and Sheri is Wanda - the slightly less well-known caper of disguise. We had it all; the matching shirts, hats, bluejeans, brown shoes, and unusually large biceps. The best part about our costumes is that we kept blending in to our surroundings - nobody could find us! Which may have accounted for the extraordinary amount of desserts stolen and people being mysteriously pantsed. (Although I discovered something very interesting: trying to pants someone wearing a onesie is much more difficult that you would suspect. Just thought you'd want to know.)

Let's play a game. It's called, "Try to find the hidden Meyers":

Here's a hint: If I'm not careful, I might be beat up by the Big Bad Wolf and then eaten by Little Red Riding Hood.

This one is a little trickier. But if you look closely enough, you can see that Wanda appears to be nothing more than a floating head. If you're not careful, you could mistake her for one of those balloons with glasses and a white fuzzy on top.

Here we are with our friends "Sick" and "Tired" - probably about how you're feeling right now.

Here we are in all our glory. The schools Student Spouse Association - each couple more terrifying than the last!

Probably the best part of the night was the following costume. Looks like we already know what we're going to be next year! Boo-ya!

(He told me that the tie was "to make the costume look more manly". Buddy, you don't need no stinkin' tie - you've got manliness oozing out of you!)

Victory!

As all of you have heard, Proposition 8 PASSED earlier this month. Sheri and I have been absolutely thrilled about it. We felt that it was a very historic election and are so happy that the people of California chose to support marriage that is ordained by God. We realize that in many ways our fight has just begun. People all over the nation are gathering together to persecute and tyrannize our church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) and many others. But we are confident that whatever the outcome, we are privileged to join in the fight for what is right. We would like to thank all of our friends, family, and others across the nation who have consecrated so much time, money, and effort in this issue.

To sum up, I would like to share a portion of an address given by the late Elder Neal A. Maxwell who at the time was one of the leaders of our church. I love these words from a man who was a prophet of God:

"Make no mistake about it, brothers and sisters, in the months and years ahead, events are likely to require each member to decide whether or not he will follow the First Presidency. Members will find it more difficult to halt longer between two opinions...President Marion G. Romney said, many years ago, that he had 'never hesitated to follow the counsel of the Authorities of the Church even though it crossed my social, professional or political life.'

"This is hard doctrine, but it is particularly vital doctrine in a society which is becoming more wicked. In short, brothers and sisters, not being ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ includes not being ashamed of the prophets of Jesus Christ!"

"Your discipleship may see the time when such religious convictions are discounted. . . . This new irreligious imperialism seeks to disallow certain opinions simply because those opinions grow out of religious convictions. Resistance to abortion will be seen as primitive. Concern over the institution of the family will be viewed as untrendy and unenlightened."

"Before the ultimate victory of the forces of righteousness, some skirmishes will be lost. Even in these, however, let us leave a record so that the choices are clear, letting others do as they will in the face of prophetic counsel."

"There will also be times, happily, when a minor defeat seems probable, but others will step forward, having been rallied to rightness by what we do. We will know the joy, on occasion, of having awakened a slumbering majority of the decent people of all races and creeds which was, till then, unconscious of itself."

Emphasis added to the quote. To see the full discourse, see:

http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=1846d0640b96b010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&hideNav=1